วันอังคารที่ 2 มีนาคม พ.ศ. 2553

I Can't Write Jokes but You Can Become a Standup Comic

This is Taylor Jones, the hack writer.

I'm a prolific writer of much needed articles.

I wrote from scratch most of the over 150 articles I've posted on during the last two months.

Okay, so some were not much needed, but over 15,000 folks have visited the articles along with over 100 ezine publishers.

It's true. I can write on any subject.

What I can't do is write jokes.

I've tried to learn the craft.

I can't.

However, I did find a website that might get you started in writing jokes and could even get you paid in applause, or even money, by doing standup comedy. The site is

Good Luck!

I'm sure you will become famous.

If you do, maybe you can drop me off a ticket to one of your shows when you make the big-time and perform in Southern Idaho.

We live in the Banana Belt of Idaho. Kids and adults here leave there coats at home if the temperature gets over 25 degrees.

The other night we took our Idaho grandkids to dinner. The four-year-old had a sweater but no coat.

I said, "Bob, where is your coat?"

She said, "Home."

I think the temperature was about 7 degrees.

Bob is a Girl. Her given name is not Bob. About a year ago she said, "My name is Bob!"

Now nobody dares call her anything else.

Kids say the funniest things as Art Linkletter use to say.

My aunt was on his show. She was the oldest mother in the United States with the youngest baby.

That would be my cousin, Billy.

Where in the heck are you, Billy?

When my daughter-in-law had triplets up in Washington State, our four-year-old granddaughter said, "I've got a new sister and she has two brothers."

We went to a recital after dinner. I was afraid that everybody was going to freeze to death (especially Bob).

It was so cold that the red banner around the Sizzler® sign turned blue.

I've often wondered why the lettering saying "Sizzler®" is not colored RED rather than a cold color like blue or green, whichever it is.

Well, how hot was your steak by the time the girl brought it to you?

Do they call thatTruth in Advertising?

I've only bought one steak at Sizzler®.

I ordered "medium rare" and they brought me "medium horsehide."

If it wasn't cold when I got it, it sure was when I nailed it to my boot.

I like to go to Sizzler®. I've learned to order the salmon.

The salmon is served with rice pilaf and that yummy Texas toast.

You can get the soup, salad, and dessert bar for an extra buck.

I think I told you that my aortic valve is from a pig.

I'm grateful for that pig. I have a little stuffed pig on top of my monitor. He is pink. He wares a biker's jacket that says "Harley Davidson." If I have chest pains again, he will hop on his bike and get the hell out of here.

Do you have those little Windows® pop-ups while you are typing?

Mine just said,Your virus protection has been updated.

The computer techs can hardly keep up with the new viruses.

Sometimes one will pop up and say The Kiddlelooper Virus is an insidious worm that enters your computer and erases your hard drive if you turn your computer off after reading your email and then turn it back on again.

The last time I turned off my computer was 1963.

Well, I have to go now.

The wind just blew my horse over.

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (, a retired college professor and business executive, Former editor of an international engineering magazine. To learn more about Wealthy Affiliate University go to his info site. If you desire a flagpole to Fly Old Glory, go to the business site.

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